Resistance is Far from Futile

This September, the music world was treated to a new album by Muse, the British alt/indie rock trio whose over-the-top prog overtones seem to defy any particular genre. The Resistance, the band's fifth album, provides the listener with a bombastic and exhilarating experience.

From the first notes, the album immediately grabs its audience with the energetic "Uprising," a relatively straight forward rock song a pulsing drum beat and guitar riffs reminiscent of an aggressive Blondie song. Once energized, the listener gets the enjoy of delving into the title track "Resistance" which plays like a modern day Queen song, replete with huge harmonies, monstrous Brian May-like guitar riffs, and rattling drum beats. By the time "United States of Eurasia (+Collateral Damage)" Matthew Bellamy's vocals and guitar riffs simultaneously capture both May and Mercury enough to make even the casual listener do a double-take at the similarity between the aforementioned Queen.

Amazingly, though, the album is not admirable simply for its reminiscence to the pomp of Queen. Bellamy's riffs and highly emotive voice, combined with skilled and catchy drumming and a solid pounding bass backing are enough to be completely engrossing. The album finishes with an astonishing and extravagant three-song set, each entitled "Exogenesis: Sympathy." The tracks form a suite that mixes classical movements, including Chopin's Nocturne (which clearly influenced Gershwin's "Rhapsody in Blue), with more towering layers of guitar riffs that make the suite feel like a joint effort between a prog super group and Andrew Lloyd Webber. Moreover, the suite provides a stunning end to the entire album, a stunning crescendo to an aural experience of epic proportions.

Fuck saving Horses

No matter how catchy the song may be, I am never riding a cowboy. I did, however, ride a horse for the first time in my life on Saturday. Emily was kind enough to introduce me to Charlie (yeah, Charlie Horse, so original), the quarterhorse. Standing at 16 hands, the burnt sienna colored equine was quite charming, having a really relaxed look to him, which assuaged initial fears.

Fortunately, he was gentle with an inexperienced rider (no jokes about my sex life please), and despite being somewhat goofy, was a lot of fun. Emily was also incredibly patient with my inability to properly hold the reins and turn. The only downside outside of the initial fear is that a day later my legs feel like they were stretched apart and I haven't had this much groin pain since the time I played goalie for the Detroit Redwings in 1999. Though, that second part might have been a dream.

If God ate Mac and Cheese...

He'd eat my recipe. A slight thanks to Rachel Ray for the recommendation on making a roux, and Maruzze for the Gruyere suggestion. Here's the recipe, with a little explanation mixed in. This must be shared.

First, boil some water in a pot for a full box/bag of oricchette or small shells. While you're waiting for those to cook, prepare your sauce.

Start with a medium sauce pan, with a tablespoon or two of olive oil and a tablespoon of butter. Get it nice and hot so the butter melts and drop in 1/4 cup of chopped onions. Cook them on a medium low heat so you sweat the onions creating a nice sweet texture. When you get a little bit of bubbling with the oil, whisk in 1 tbsp of paprika, 1/2 tbsp (1.5 tsp) of either cayenne or chipotle pepper, and 3 tbsp of flour. This will create an orange roux. Get the roux bubbling, add in 1/2 cup of sour cream and about 3 cups of skim milk. Raise the heat, and bring to a quick boil. Once boiling, reduce to a simmer. Let thicken 3-5 minutes.

Once your basic sauce has thickened, add 2 cups mild cheddar cheese, shredded, and 1 cup of gruyere chease, also shredded. Allow to melt into sauce for 1-2 minutes.

Preheat oven to 350.

Take your cooked pasta, drain but do not rinse, and combine with melted cheese sauce. Once thorougly combined, put in 8x8 baking pan. Top with breadcrumbs and thick cut bacon. Put foil over baking pan and bake in oven for 30 minutes at 350.

Once baked, allow to cool, and serve.

Believe me, this is worth it.

When Rhinocerotes Attack

Newsline - Associated Press - 14 November

Tragedy nearly struck this weekend when a young Puerto Rican woman narrowly avoided being gored to death by a rhinoceros who was reportedly provoked by a group of intoxicated onlookers. The woman's friends were able to save the girl from certain doom. However, to the chagrin of local authorities, the rhinoceros escaped captured and was last believed to be headed to Spain. Anyone with information about the stray odd-toed ungulate are encouraged to call big Joe. When asked about the incident afterwords, the woman only replied, "Pumpkin Tits!"

You know, that novel I've been working on...

I know you're all about to ask, "How you uh, how you comin' on that novel, you're workin' on huh? Got a big uh big stack of papers there? Got a got a got a nice little nice little story you're workin' on there, the big big uh novel you've been working on for three years, huh? Got a, got a compelling protagonist huh? Got a uh got a obstacle for him to overcome? Huh? Little story brewin' there? Workin' on, workin on that for quite some time huh? Yeah talkin' about that three years ago eh? Been workin' on that the whole time? Nice little uh narrative uh beginning middle and end? Some friends become enemies, some enemies become friends yeah? At the end you're uh main character is uh richer for the experience yeah? Yeah? Yeah you got uh .. No, no you you deserve some time off."

Well, the answer is, just damn peachy... sort of. I love knowing that I have a plot developed that would work in nearly any setting, not just a science fiction series that will make literary critics eyes roll. I just hate how tough it is writing effective dialogue that doesn't come across as hackneyed. I sometimes can't help but wonder how a War and Peace type novel was written, and how sane Tolstoy, or any of those epic authors could possibly be.

Was this really worth writing a blog about? Probably not, but at least you got to read a Family Guy quote.

Hail Caesar

For the 27th time in their existence, the New York Yankees, baseball's version of the Roman Empire, were crowned the World Series Champion. Like the crowning of many Roman emperors, the championship will be celebrated in the streets of the homeland, with confetti replacing the blood of slaughtered chattel. And like the leaders of Rome, those who helped to build this Yankee empire come replete with stories of lavish spending, unchecked megalomania, scandalous personal indiscretions, and a list of enemies as long as the list of victories.

Just as Rome was not built in a day, the Yankee empire was one that could only be built through exorbitant spending and manipulation, but most of all, hard work and ruthless perseverance in the face of its enemies. Now the triumphant empire stands proud over its fallen enemies, holding trophies the of their conquest. Their enemies, not dressed in blood-stained armor like the soldiers of Carthage, Palmyra, and so many, but in dirt-smeared uniforms and battered cleats, are left to watch, in both awe and envy of their pinstriped conquerors.

As a member of one of those conquered nations, left battered and beaten by the conquering force, I am left alive and defeated, resentful of success won at the hands of my own dominion's failure. Even more painful than the defeat itself, though, is the thought that for the following days, I must be forced to live by the saying "when in Rome..." Thus, like the Roman gladiators, many of who were slaves from a defeated rival, I can only turn towards the Steinbrenners, Brian Cashman, and the Yankee players, and bitterly address them; "Hail Caesar, we who are about to die, salute you!"