Random Musings 2: Eclectic Bugaloo

Here's a few Top 7 lists to chew on. Why 7? It's a biblical number. It's more decisive than 5. It's completely arbitrary, just like the lists. These are in no particular order

Top 7 Awesome Smells
1) Libraries: C'mon, there's something awesome about the smell of musty paper and rows upon rows of books.
2) Playdough: Try to contest this one
3) Pumpkin Spice Donut: See Also: Pumpkin Spice Beer, Pumpkin Spice Anything
4) Fresh Basil (still on plant): Mix with lemon for orgasmic scent
5) Beer mash: Before it's beer, it's a mushy brown mash of grains and boiling water that smells like a cross between bread and awesome.
6) Ice Hockey Rink: Seriously, go smell it. I don't know what the chemical is, but it's amazing.
7) New York City: Olfactory Overload

Top 7 Books that NEED to be written (and some that could never be)
1) Comprehensive History of the Eisenhower Interstate System: You could circle the world dozens of times with the pavement laid down in the 1950's and 1960's. It has to be worth a read.
2) Comprehensive History of the NYC Subway System: 700 miles of track under granite, swamp, and even river. The ultimate engineering marvel of the world.
3) Presidents and Polygraphs: Ask US Presidents questions while hooked up to a Polygraph. Lather. Rinse. Repeat. Enjoy.
4) A Muslim's View of the Crusades: Go back in time, kidnap a Muslim leader during the invasions, let him write an autobiography.
5) Christ - The Autobiography: Would the holes in his hands keep him from properly holding a pen?
6) The History of Comfort Foods: The story behind who came up with foods like PB&J and Mac n Cheese. Seriously, just think about the combinations of food we eat.
7) The List Book: A book listing the greatest lists of all time. Who doesn't like lists? Communists, that' who.

Top 7 Candies Old People Like
1) Black Licorice: It's like beer. You can't enjoy it under a certain age.
2) Worther's Original: Awesomeness comes in a coffee flavored hunk of sugar.
3) Sugar-Free Lifesavers: Try the mixed berry ones.
4) After Dinner Mints: Those weird chalky mints you get at restaurants and grandparents houses have some great value
5) NECCO Wafers: Addictive despite how horrible they are
6) Spice Drops: The look of disappointment when a little kid thinks he's getting fruity candy and bites into a purple spice drop that tastes like licorice and mint makes these worthwhile.
7) Butterscotch Candies: If you haven't gotten and enjoyed one of these from someone over 50 you either don't have grandparents or don't hang out with pedophiles.

Top 7 Flags of the World
1) Britain' Union Jack: Even the French like this.
2) Libya: These fuckers were too lazy to actually design something, so they hung a plain green sheet.
3) Macedonia: Yellow sun with a red background sorta like a twisted old Japanese rising sun. Awesomeness.
4) Bhutan: Anyone who can get a dragon on their flag is okay by me.
5) Nazi Germany: Yeah, fuck the Nazi's and everything they did. And fuck them for ruining what was an awesome logo.
6) Sri Lanka: What's better than a dragon than a lion-dragon thingy holding a knife! Bonus points for the crazy colors.
7) Nepal: Apparently the rectangular fabric store was closed the day it was designed.

Top 7 Never-Printed Family Circus Plots
1) The one where Jeffy gets kidnapped by the creepy neighbor.
2) The one where Bill beats Thelma and the kids for ruining his life.
3) The one where Dolly accidentally puts the car in reverse, running over the family dog.
4) The one where the kids age.
5) The one that shows a minority.
6) The one where Thelma admits that P.J. was a failed abortion.
7) The one that's actually funny.

Top 7 Overrated Rock Bands
1) Aerosmith: I don't want to walk this way or that.
2) The Doors: Die Jim Morrison. Well, at least you did that right.
3) U2: Bono's toned it back a bit in recent years, but have they really done much good since the 1980's?
4) Nirvana: Everyone (including me) has had a Nirvana phase. Some great stuff, but how many shit bands did they influence? And ask yourself this: If Cobain hadn't died, how many more albums could he do that sounded like they did without people getting sick of them.
5) Pink Floyd: Sorry, but 3 great albums don't excuse all the crap.
6) The Eagles: A few great hits, a LOT of crap.
7) Van Halen: How they ever got as popular as they did will never cease to amaze.

Top 7 Shows That Were Cancelled Too Soon
1) Firefly
2) Animaniacs
3) Andy Richter Controls the Universe
4) The Chevy Chase Show: A week, guys, really?!
5) Enterprise: It was just getting good.
6) Reading Rainbow: Fuck you, illiterate youth!
7) Eek the Cat: Meet Halley, Acorn, Steven Junior, Gunther, and my lovely wife, SUUUUUZAN